So, this blog title is borrowed from one of my favorite YA authors, and one of my favorite books. It is now 3 years since we got together, and we are still coasting on. ;)

He has to work on our actual anniversary date (7th March), so we decided to have our anniversary dinner a few days earlier. I selected Tosca, one of my favorite Italian restaurants (which I've reviewed before in 2011) as they serve great food and has impeccable service.

But before I indulge you with photos of food, I want to just write a few words few short paragraphs, on why after three years (I know it's not a long time, but...) I still feel like one of the luckier girls in the world (not to mention the most-constantly-annoyed-girlfriend) and how much I appreciate the little things in our relationship.

He goes to things he doesn't want to go to, because I want to
Horror movies that he hates watching? He goes anyway because I love horror movies, and then spends half the time hiding under his cap. He even attends girly blogger events with me which some of my friends commented that their men would NEVER do for them. #bonuspoints

He gave me most of his closet space
Having co-lived together at his place, he has given me more space to keep all my stuff in – even if it means throwing out some of his older stuff. He even bought me a table and cabinets from IKEA, to store more stuff and that I may have my own personal workspace. This is probably one of the things I appreciate the most.

He always listens (or pretends to listen) when I gossip/rant about girl drama
I think he listens most of the time because he seems to remember certain gossipy bits – and can even bring up certain things I've forgotten I said months later. He has bad memory for things like 'dinner with mom' or 'event to attend', but he remembers gossip. Sigh.

He doesn't act like some 'macho' cool guy around his friends
No showing off in front of his friends – he keeps things real. That's pretty good since some guys I know act like some 'big know it all man' around his friends if his girlfriend is present. Bleagh, please..

He gives good advice (sometimes)
I have learnt a few things from him, such as having patience (amongst other things), as he is a very patient person who doesn't like confrontations. I, on the other hand, am the total opposite. Pros and cons to both traits, but he teaches me to be better, sometimes.

Most importantly, I feel secure
I don't think I have ever felt insecure throughout our time together. I occasionally ask 'who is this?' whenever some girl likes or comments on his photos – but it's mostly in jest. I know he's honest and sincere, and I believe that I have no reason to doubt him, not just yet anyway (and not ever, hopefully). We both have the same vision for our future, so that gives me assurance on his commitment and my utmost trust.


Now that we've gotten all that gooey stuff out of the way, on to our date night!




Every table at Tosca gets a complimentary bread basket – which I mostly love because of their delicious grissini! In fact, it was my last visit to Tosca that inspired me to make my own grissini at home. The basket also comes with a generous assortment of bread to satiate our gnawing hunger as the food is prepared.

Our starter arrives, it is a carpaccio of Australian grass fed beef tenderloin with horseradish cream and rocket leaves to go with. I think there was a sort of mustard sauce beneath it too.






Our delicious mains came next. I loved the wild mushrooms and sea scallop risotto! I am a sucker for rice dishes like risotto and paella, and this is done really well. The flavor is creamy and fantastic. We also had a calabrese pizza, which is made simple with tuna, capers, oregano and chilli on top of melty mozzarella. These were shared between us, and it was so much, we had 3 slices of pizza leftover.





Tosca has got a lovely pool view. We decided to share dessert (because we're greedy) and selected the creme brulee. It was lovely and it came with raspberries and a lovely raspberry sorbet. I thought it was a little too sweet, the sorbet. I don't know, maybe I am getting older, a lot of things seem too sweet to me these days.







Last but not least, my annual anniversary gift which we went to purchase last weekend. He had to bring me along to try out the ring sizes. No, we are not engaged, but I would like to think this is a promise that we might, one day. :)

p/s: I haven't gotten him his gift yet, but all he wants is a soda machine. Men. #rollseyes

Boys, boys – this post is for you (as much as it is also for us girls). Valentines is coming, and perfectly on a Saturday too, so there is much to plan and buy for. Here are some of my top picks for gifts and dining. You're welcome.


GIFT SELECTIONS
01 Melissa + Vivienne Westwood / Karl Lagerfeld Shoes
A beautiful collaboration between Melissa and one of the most celebrated designers – which brings about a girly and feminine look to Melissa's signature shoes. The Lady Dragon shoes are given new life with elements of Westwood's designs, a sweet curved heart on the toe and soft pastel color combos. Then comes another collection that collaborates with the celebrated Karl Lagerfeld – with his style of sleek black, and metallic-color application. I personally love those Ultragirl flats that features Choupette, Lagerfeld's famous pet cat who has recently gotten her share of fame worldwide in various campaigns.

02 Victoria's Secret Bombshell Pink Diamonds
Following the successful debut of Bombshells In Bloom, VS has yet another new fragrance from the Bombshell line, just in time for Valentines day! It is a vibrant blend of pink grapefruit and passion flower, very lush and oh-so-perfect for Vday. Just check out the gorgeous bottle that has a jewel encrusted pink bow filled with lovely pink diamantes, what's not to love?

03 Bobbi Brown's Skin Smoothing Pore Perfector
We all know that one of the best ways to a girl's heart is NOT through her stomach, but rather, through worshipping her beauty. And what better way to help her maintain her skin's glow that with this lightweight product? It is a targeted treatment that instantly helps creates smooth, poreless-looking skin. This formula features special soft focus powders that immediately blur pores – she will not be needing those face smoothing apps on her iPhone after this. And she will thank you for it. ;)



DRINKS & DINING
04 PLOY's Valentines Day Offerings
Step into PLOY, and taste their specially curated Valentines Day menu in collaboration with Michelin-starred Chef Jeff Ramsey. Themed in a Naughty or Nice fashion, you get to pick a dish that either defines as naughty (such as the chocolate and hazelnut crunch bar dessert) or nice (its polar opposite which features the raspberry dome with Grand Marnier mousse) – which makes it easy to try everything by sharing your selections with your partner. This menu goes at RM288+ per person, and you start off with a nice glass of prosecco.

05 Troika Sky Dining: Cantaloupe
Dine sky-high, up at Cantaloupe – with a luscious 6-course spread. You will find a medley of all the best aphrodisiacs in one night from oysters to lobster, foie gras, wagyu, tuna belly – and that's just some of the really good stuff – to treat your loved one to. Expect a thrill for both your tastebuds accompanied by a view of the city – not to mention, a warm and lovey atmosphere. The menu goes for RM500++ per pax.

06 Möet Chandon: Möet Rose Unfurl The Tie Gift Box and Möet Rose Unfurl The Tie Suit
Nothing beats ending the night with a good bottle of Möet. This year, they have gorgeously packaged Möet Rose (in two variants) which are specially glammed up for Valentines. Check out the beautiful packaging in lush pastel pink, gold and black – a definite way to romance your other half and drink to the stars. After all, every bottle of Möet Chandon is as quoted from Perignon himself who exclaimed, "Come quickly, I am drinking the stars!"


I hope this has given you an idea (or ideas) to spruce up your Valentines Day this 2015 – and may your love be everlasting!

Just the other day, I was talking to an acquaintance of mine, and she was very vexed about something. I asked her about it, and she (probably had too much to drink) told me all about it. Apparently, the guy she dated for a good 4 years, whom she dumped, is now a multi-millionaire.

She dumped him because he couldn't support her extravagant lifestyle, and he was always busy with his work (he works in tech so you know, work is always never ending as long as the internet exists). He was a wonderful guy though, according to her, but his lack of funds and her need for an unlimited ATM machine, lead to the demise of their relationship.

Quoting her: "I never should have left him IF I KNEW he was going to be this rich!" 

Sadly, I believe this is the mindset of most of the girls in this current generation. It's not only about the money, it's also the status and 'job title' of a man that makes him worthy or acceptable to date. Most of them think, "I'm young and pretty, therefore I deserve to marry a rich guy to take care of me!" Sorry to break it to you, but your youth and beauty doesn't last. By the time you're older, there are younger and prettier girls that will take what you once owned. It's a losing battle in a vicious circle.

Wealth and status can be accumulated. But love is not something you find on the side of the road every day. It's like finding an unpolished diamond and tossing it away because it doesn't look too pretty. When one finds that sort of true love, one does not just toss it away (unless you're a silly duck like my friend here). I think if girls write off such a wonderful man because of his money or status, then, really; if you won't love him when he's poor, he won't love you when he's rich.

More girls should be like the rich girl who married a chicken rice seller. I'm not saying every girl out there should only look for men of a certain status or monetary value. Look for a man who loves you for all that you are and vice versa. If he's rich, good for you. If he's not, what's the problem, just as long as he's the right one for you.

Life is too short to be trading love for money.



Anyways, over the weekend, I attended a wedding that speaks volumes about love and foreverness. All of us had fun basking in the lovers' glow, and had amazingly good food at KL Hilton (the warm chocolate cake dessert really takes the cake of being the best dish of the night). It was such a good mood booster before getting hit hard with the Monday blues. Love – never ceases to amaze me.

One of the happiest and constant thing in my life is my relationship. In all my life, I have been hurt, I have been burned, I have lived through it and I have learned from all the pain. I have learnt to be strong. And right now, I am the happiest I have ever been in any relationship.

Those who know me, know I do not celebrate Valentines day. There are much better things to celebrate. And that would be, our anniversary. Really, why celebrate Vday with everyone else in the world? Why not celebrate the day the love of your life changed yours forever?

So celebrate we did. We booked ourselves a cosy meal at Beast, and also indulged each other with gifts. :)









This year, I got another keepsake from him from Tiffany & Co. A silver piece that I've always love from the 1837 collection.




I loved Tiffany & Co. ever since I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's (starring Audrey Hepburn) when I was a kid. Something about their heritage and that lovely teal color that just appeals to me. Last year I received a beautiful Infinity necklace keepsake for our first anniversary. I guess I can be expecting a Tiffany piece every anniversary from now on. ;p

I bought him a portable bluetooth and speakerphone enabled speaker, and an experience at the 2014 Future Music Asia Festival. :D It's so difficult to shop for boys, I swear.

Looking forward to more years to come with this silly man. ♥♥♥

What is your new year's resolution before 2014 officially kickstarts (which I consider, is after CNY?Perhaps some of us with new year resolutions to 'lose weight' or 'go on a ridiculous diet' – should really consider changing that into 'getting in good terms with your body'. About three years ago, I wrote about loving and accepting yourself for who you are. Now, I want to remind you just how you should stay happy this year by being comfortable in your own skin.

Whatever shape you are, always remember to love your body and avoid any self-harm, or getting depressed over it. By self-harm I mean extreme dieting or any form of self-inflicted pain. It's not healthy and it will not do any good to your mental health either. After all, your body is your only vessel of existing in this world; so be sure to take good care of it.


HOW?
By taking care of yourself and your body of course! It's always easier said than done, but I have a good way of reminding yourself to always do what's good for your body – it's called The Ferrari Theory.


WHAT IS THE FERRARI THEORY?
And more importantly, what does a Ferrari have got to do with anyone's body image? Listen, I always believe that you should always regard yourself as an expensive, one-of-a-kind car (a custom Ferrari) and treat yourself like how you would treat your expensive Ferrari. Not by eating junk food/processed food items (learn what's bad for you) or sleeping late or even binging on alcohol. You wouldn't put low quality petrol into your car, would you?

Like any other car, and probably more than most, a Ferrari requires constant tuning and maintenance. So do YOU! Your body in constantly changing and everything your eat, drink or breathe affects you. Even the people and environment around affects you. Which is why you need to always be aware of what goes into you and what you're surrounded by. That way, you can subconsciously be more aware of what you're eating, breathing and drinking. You will be more alert to your body's needs and know what you need to do to keep it healthy. Doesn't matter if you are a different size from everyone else, just as long as you're healthy and happy in your own skin (VERY IMPORTANT).





If fitness is your concern, then start by planning your 'get healthy game plan.'
If learning to drink more water is a concern, make your own flavored water.
If avoiding extra calories this CNY is your concern, learn how to avoid em'.
What other concerns do you have?

"Love your body. Every fold, every curve, every hairy bit, every crack, and crevice. Do not allow society to tell you what your body 'should' look like. Do not fall into the trap of weighing your happiness on the pound. Your body is your home. It grows, it changes, it fluctuates, it carries the emotions of the day. Understand it is strong, it bends, it folds, it rolls, it brings life. Love your body in all of it’s beautiful glory."

Here's a photo of a tiger enjoying a roll in the snow. Have a happy new year ahead! :)

It's been a lovely and blessed birthday turning 25.

I am surrounded by loving friends, colleagues, family and most importantly, the love of my life. I am so thankful for each and every one of you. It's been one of the happiest birthdays I've had, and I couldn't ask for more.

Birthdays, these days, for me are not about the presents. Not anymore. As a child I used to count and compare the presents I would get and the more I get, the happier I am. Growing up, the quality of presents mattered more than the quantity – being a vain teenager and all.

Right now though, what matters most to me is the company I'm harboring and the people I'm spending my birthdays with. I've started hiding my birthday off Facebook to weed out the 'friends' who aren't really friends at all. And I'm glad I did it.






My colleagues have by far been the awesomest (cause they see me everyday) and been feeding me with good food and booze pre-birthday and on the actual day. I can't be more thankful for all those good times. :)






My boyfriend brought me to a really lovely restaurant, Ril's in Bangsar, knowing exactly just what I want. And what i want is MEAT. I am a proud carnivore and I am not ashamed to have my meat close to raw (medium rare) and I had 300g of that delicious meat slab. If you want really good steak that's worth your money, this is the place to go.








Aside from all the love, pressies and the food I'm getting, I am also very grateful for the many things (big things) that are happening in my life currently. I can't exactly divulge in exact detail yet, but I will be working on a collaborative project with Absolut Vodka x 3editions. Details/teaser here. (UPDATE: Read all about my Absolut x 3editions journey here!)


That's one of them. There are just so many wonderful things and I am very excited about them.
Looking forward to another amazing year! :)

You know how they always say that you should 'trust no one but yourself'?
From personal experience with previous partners, I can say that that is very, very true.

People are always constantly changing and can be very unpredictable. You can't predict or say for sure that you know a 100% what their next move is. You definitely can't predict the future, and especially when your trust is dependent on another person, you can't expect for everything to turn out as how you envision it to be.

Which is why, how much you trust someone will be your own insurance for your future.

For me, personally, I would say trust someone you love 90% (if it's a stable relationship). If it's fairly new, maybe start with 70% and move up from there, on your own terms. But even after you get married, never ever move that trust up to 100%.

WHY? Because even the nicest, sweetest men have the capability to cheat or go astray. Yes, even your soulmate. Humans are free creatures with free wills, never forget that. No one owes you anything, not even your own parents. So if you end up heartbroken, you have no one to blame but yourself.


How many times I've heard my girlfriends tell me "I can't believe he would do this to me", "I didn't know" and more commonly, "I trusted him". It's sad, but true. I've been there myself, quite a number of times too.


I'm currently dating my boyfriend JY (or usually referred to as Panda), who's a very sweet and caring person, and who adores me and bestows all his attention upon me. He was my friend for 5 years (from 2006) before we got together a year ago. We are very much in love, but as this is only the beginning, who's to say in 5 years' time he wouldn't do something that could change things between us. What then?

As someone once told me, PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE.

I am very involved in his life as he is in mine. Whenever he isn't with me, I'd still WANT know of his whereabouts all the time, and he makes it a point to let me know where he is and what he's doing without having me to ask. (This was the deal we made to each other before agreeing to get together in a serious and committed relationship.) If he's going out with friends or colleagues, he'll tell me who he's going with and where they're heading to. (If he doesn't I'll ask him straight out.)

You would think that it sounds like a very miserable and 'controlled' relationship but it isn't. He's happy to do it if it benefits our relationship. He doesn't feel in any way forced to do it. And just so you know, it goes both ways. If you still think it sounds like a 'controlling relationship', then maybe you're a guy with serious commitment issues and you should first think about your own life before you judge mine.

Know when to put your foot down.

Say, if he wants to go for some beers at Deutchess' with his high school buddies (most of them are married, and I know them), I'm cool with it. If it's to some sleazy bars or to dodgy KL clubs, I'll put my foot down and say NO. Whether he goes ahead or listens to you, shows you just how much you can trust him, and where your relationship stands.

If he has nothing to hide, he would not get mad.

I had dated someone once who would get mad whenever I look into his phone. Of course, because his secret messages to a secret someone are all in it. So girls, know the signs. Currently, I allow my boyfriend to look into my phone and I don't give a shit if he scrolls through my messages or Facebook (as long as he doesn't hijack it with stupid status messages) and I'd go through his if I feel like it, whether he's around or not. If there is nothing to hide, nothing to get defensive or mad about.

"All these work in the beginning stages of the relationship, but what about later on when he starts to get more comfortable and starts to not do the things he used to do for me?" 

Answer: Constant vigilance.

Haha, okay so I pulled this phrase off Harry Potter (famous words of Professor Moody) but there's nothing more accurate than these two words. You make sure he keeps the end of the bargain. If he forgets to let you know where he is, remind him again about your deal to each other. Don't let him off the hook because it is human nature to slack, and if he sees the chance to slack, he will and so will your relationship.

Just like when you go to work. If you're an hour late once, it's alright. If it happens twice, your superior should give you a warning. Let's say if your superior didn't. You would then start to think it's okay to be an hour late (because there are no consequences) and so you will start going in one hour late every day from then on. Maybe, if you're feeling brave, you might try for two, then three. You get the gist of it.

Men are the same (applies to some women too). If there are no consequences, do you think they'd refrain from doing something? No, they won't.


"But I trust him with all my heart and soul and know he will never do me wrong." 

Don't make the mistake of thinking like that. If you TRUST him with your all, does that mean you will give him your bank account passwords or your life savings for safe-keeping? NO, you won't, right? And you shouldn't. Could you trust your man to be locked up in a room with two gorgeous models for a week and TRUST that nothing will happen between them? I know I wouldn't. So why even allow that kind of situation to happen in the first place? You're not controlling him if you don't allow him to go to places with temptation. You're watching out for your own and he should know better when he decides to commit in your relationship, otherwise, why promise to commit? DON'T BE SO NAIVE.

'Trust has to be earned', they say. Not really, you just need to learn how to trust wisely.

For example, I trust that my boyfriend will have my back if someone in our circle decides to bad mouth me. I TRUST that he would defend me. However, would I TRUST him to go out with an attractive female colleague for a friendly dinner and movie? HELL, I WILL NOT.

I'm not being insecure, I'm just protecting my investment - which is my heart. Hence why I will not allow him to be put into a situation that could have many different outcomes, whether intended or not. It could be an innocent get-together, and she might not have any intentions towards my man. But then again, she also might. So why take the risk?


The mistake most men make are thinking that they won't get caught. 

They think this way, because their wives/girlfriends are not being constantly vigilant. They TRUST too much. Then shit happens and they cry and say, "I trusted him". No one is to blame but themselves for not being vigilant enough to keep their relationship.

Which is why I make it a practice for him and myself to always keep each other in the loop whenever we're doing our own things. At least if even if he wants to cheat in future, it would take a lot of work to slip out of my sight. It would be tough for him to meet someone in a hotel, for example, without me knowing. Even if it happens, at least I can say I tried, rather than 'I didn't see it coming'. One thing about men when it comes to cheating, if it takes too much work and has too many consequences, they wouldn't bother because it wouldn't be worth it. There, problem settled, thank you very much.

Of course as his life partner, you need to play your part too - and not just keep a hawk eye over him all the time, you should keep up your own end of the deal as well.

My recipe for a lasting relationship is gratitude, affection and always saying 'I love you'.

Never take someone for granted, be it 3 years, 5 years or 10 years. Always be grateful for the one person that made your life whole for those long years. Affection is free, so there's no harm in giving it out constantly. Little gestures like touching their hair, grazing their skin or holding their hand can make a difference. And always say those three magical words and mean it. Let love be the first and last words out of your mouth.

And, constant vigilance. (just needed to add that there) :p

Over a year ago, in June 1st 2011, I wrote about being reborn from the ashes after a really bad emotional breakdown in 2010. That very day & date was the start of changing & resetting myself, my thoughts and my expectations.

I have to admit, it wasn't easy. Matters of the heart are always much easier said than done.

However, right now, over a year later, I have to say that I owe it all to my epiphany on that day when I decided to reset myself. That day has lead to my utter abundance of love, happiness, security and positivity I possess today.

Perseverance and constantly being positive about everything in life, has given me the "magnet" to attract all the wonderful things in life that I know I deserve. I stopped telling myself I am not deserving, because at the end of the day, I AM. With that special "magnet" within me, I have made great progress with my career (my first promotion in 2013!) and have found the love of my life. I made a lot of new acquaintances and renewed friendships with old friends. I am at a healthy weight, and aiming to be a fitter gym bunny. Life is just amazing right now.

Of course, the good is nothing without first having to taste the bad. I learnt that your prospects will turn out in the same manner as how you face them. So don't face it with a bitter attitude, face it with all the happiness & desire that you deserve. It's a life lesson that can't be taught, but can be learnt when the heart wants to.

Right now, I am happy. Extremely happy. And eternally grateful.

Thank you.

I came across someone's blog today and I was reminded of how much I used to blog about my feelings so much, so openly all the time that my whole blog had so much negativity (because happier posts are shorter and angry rants are a mile long) and it was pretty depressing to read. I deleted my old Xanga blog last year which had a load of teenage rants dating back from 2004-2007. I also did a quick "spring-cleaning" on old blog posts here that were pretty emotional and full of angst.

I came across one that I had missed out today.

I am shocked, to say the least, to finally realize just how much angst I had in me during that last relationship, without even realizing it. Here's what I wrote, (dated February 2010):

I’m bad for you. You hate me for what I do but you know you just can’t give me up. It’s not that easy, I’m a drug. What’s worse? I know I’m your Crystal Meth. I know exactly what I do to you and how you can’t let me go and… I love it. I love how I can make you do things you’d often think irrational. I love how you keep coming back for more.

So please keep me for all your rainy & sunny days. Don’t even think you’re better off without me. You know you wouldn’t be. You won’t know what to do, the world will be too sharp, too acute, too chronic. Without me, all your world’s problems will immediately condense into a blinding, searing, disorienting blur. I can see you know, just grabbing at air trying to get a grip on anything. It’s pathethic. Amusing.

Besides, why would you try to kick the addiction? You’re flying with me. Taken steps you never thought you could. You’ve taken off, you’ve landed. Crash-landed, sometimes but it all felt so damn good. Maybe it’s the rush you love and I’m just that little bit of concentrated nerve you shoot up right before. So maybe… I’m not that addictive, maybe you just found a new way to live with me in your blood.

Here’s the clincher. I’m leaving you. Right now, I know, the very thought of me sends you running, racing, for the edge of the cliff. Centre-stage, baby. All yours for the taking. I’m just waiting for the wreckball to ascend. Then they’ll come and force me, the Morphine, back into your veins to ease the pain. The dizzying effects will be total Ecstacy. Then you’ll come to the sad realisation that I really was the source of your power and that it was so easy for me to leave.

So beg me to stay.

I was in such a dark place, hating him and pushing him away and yet begging for him to make me stay. Treating the relationship like an addiction - spitting poison with every word, it really was very unhealthy of me.

I digress.


So anyways, three years later now, I am in a much happier and healthier relationship. I have a loving and supportive partner who is my sun, my equal and my everything.

The thing is, happy couples too experience their own down times. Ever been in a situation where everything is just going fine and it suddenly just turns sour? Let's say you have a nice, lazy Sunday out at brunch, just the two of you and then you head for a leisurely stroll in the mall. Somehow, somewhere something one of you did or said ticks the other off and a small argument ensues. Sometimes, a small argument turns into a bigger argument and you end up walking next to one another in angry silence, trying to ignore each other but still keeping a close radius (because you travelled in the same car). And most of the time, that tense silence follows you into the car and all the way home.

What began as a nice day was ruined with an "emotional fight". Doesn't it always happen that way?

However once we start talking candidly, or when someone decides that it's silly to keep silent for so long (usually him), things would get back on track and that tiny argument that was blown to massive proportions, forgotten. I'm not saying when these things happen, it's a bad sign. More so, I treat it as a learning experience for both of us; that we learn more about each other and understand how to handle these situations better in future. It's never pleasant to have an emotional fight. Everyone knows that fights are UNAVOIDABLE in a relationship, so maybe it's best to learn how to deal with these situations before these tiny "bombs" ruin a perfectly good relationship.

Making observations between my last relationship and my current one, here's what I had learnt and would try my best to apply, in order to keep my current relationship a lasting one - forever, if possible.  :)







SO WHAT HAPPENS DURING THOSE FIGHTS?

One of you will turn into the Baby. You will be irrational, emotional and defensive and will say whatever you must to fight for the sake of you being right. In your mind, YOU are right! The other will be the Calmer, trying their best to soothe you. When the Baby is done with expressing everything he/she has to say, they will then turn into the Clam, and stop talking altogether. In which case the Calmer will switch roles and become the Baby.






WHY DO WE EVEN FIGHT THAT WAY, REALLY?

Couples can't avoid conflicts forever, because even though "our hearts beat as one", we literally are still TWO different and separate people with our own opinions. However, many don't realize that the problem doesn't lie in the 'different opinions' or disagreements. It lies in the way how we handle the problem.

For example, if you have a difference of opinion with your best friend, would you start getting all emotional and turning into a Baby and make a big fuss out of it? No. So why do we resort to doing that with our partners?

It's because we let our egos get in the way. When we do that, our mind is clouded form any straight thinking and we want to be in the 'right'. We also spend so much time with them, that we sometimes take their feelings for granted and assume that everything we feel is mutual, forgetting that they have their own feelings too. We are in that emotional state of wanting attention & acknowledgment from our partners, to be reminded of why we matter to them.

So in a way, it's very much like my emotional statement in that 2010 post: I want him to feel like he can't live without me, that I am his drug, his everything and that I MATTER.

Of course that was a little more extreme, but this is basically what we feel like when we get into that emotional Baby state. It's just a matter of how we snap ourselves out of it.






OKAY, DRAMA'S OVER, NOW HOW DO WE SNAP OUT OF IT?

Recognize the Baby - you need to know when you're getting into that state and you need to change your train of thought so that your emotions do not escalate. Do this by focusing on all the things that he had done right, that made you happy. If your partner is the Baby, it's very important to remain calm.

Calm the Baby - when someone is in that state, they're irrational and unreasonable, like a little kid crying for attention. So beforehand, discuss with your partner what they would prefer you to do when they're in that state. For example, whenever I get into that state, I would like my partner to hold me to his chest and kiss my forehead silently until I am okay enough to speak. That way, you can both have a calm and mature conversation to solve the matter on hand before it escalates with your emotions.

Express your emotions - don't express them in a negative way. Instead of using sharp tones with your partner like "Why didn't you call?" try instead to inject how you honestly feel "When I didn't hear from you, it made me feel like I'm not important." Don't be afraid of sounding too "emotionally weak" (especially guys) because there is no such thing.


ONE BAD THING DOESN'T ERASE ALL THE GOOD THINGS

Cut the drama, your world isn't over just because he/she did one bad thing. Whenever I get angry with my partner, I stop myself and think about all the good things he had done for me in the past, and that maybe just this time I could spare him some of my wrath and just talk about the issue at hand. Talk about it to ensure that the issue/situation does not repeat itself again. Even if it does, stay calm and remind your partner gently. Keep your cool and you keep your love going strong.


THERE'S MORE TO US THAN JUST FIGHTS, YOU KNOW

What about the times when you're not fighting? How do you keep the love going? My simplest answer would be GRATITUDE. It's something I practice daily. Whenever I feel moody, I focus on the blessings in life that I have - my family, my job, my car, etc. And also that man in my life whom I argue with occasionally but can't live without.

Think of the people who had lost their life partners and had to go on with life without them. Be grateful that you have a happy, healthy and loving person by your side.




p/s: Just had to say that this being the 10th month together with my partner, things have never been better. Sure, you say, it's only the 10th month. I'll just be one of the many people who will tell you he is THE ONE, and one of the few who would actually prove you right, in time. :)

I don't usually do this, but I have to say that 2012 has been an amazing year for me. Most of it centered around that one special person, but also it's been a great one work-wise and with family and friends. :) Not to mention, the countless weddings I attended.



February 2012 - Beach season (not too sunny, not too rainy)



Kicked off the year with a nice trip to my favorite Malaysian island, Langkawi with my sister. Reasonably cheap booze, cheap but good food, cheap chocolates and beaches swarming with touristy beachgoers. What's not to like? ;)





March 2012 - When Cupid striked



1. Loves & plays ice hockey.
2. Considers ketchup as food.
3. Has an inner 5-year old within.
4. Is a gym junkie.
5. Wants to get inked again.
6. Also loves Chinese food.
7. Uses his lucky number a lot.
8. Eats his meals fast like a starving refugee kid.
9. Forgetful 60% of the time.
10. Addicted to candies.
1. Loves her cat & cats in general.
2. Can sit & draw for hours with good music.
3. Loves body combat.
4. Is a gym junkie.
5. Wants to get inked again.
6. Detests Chinese food.
7. Trying to eat more greens.
8. Loves to cuddle, a lot.
9. Loves attention from her better half.
10. Has the wanderlust bug.














OUR STORY
We met in 2007, when he became classmates with my best friend. We were fast friends, and went through the next 5 years dating other people and hanging out when we can. He left for his studies in 2010 for Vancouver and returned late 2011. That's when we started hanging out again and sparks flew, and the rest is history. :)





JULY-NOVEMBER 2012 - A whole series of weddings




A time for meeting new & old friends and giving our hearty cheers & blessings to all the lovely couples that tied the knot. We made another trip to Langkawi for a beach wedding. I think my booze intake has certainly escalated this year, together with my alcohol tolerance.





AUGUST 2012 - A memorable first birthday with my better half




Who can resist a man that cooks your favorite Swedish meal, prepares a night with 5 exciting events and makes a framed photo collage of all your Instagram photos? :)





SEPTEMBER 2012 - Pink Ribbon charity walk


Supporting breast cancer awareness in a charity walk with my very own hand-drawn sign.





OCTOBER 2012 - Birthday boy's turn



A month of shoe closet cleaning and planning a birthday outing for my better half. Sharks and fishes involved, along with some good Italian food.





NOVEMBER 2012 - Graduations, vacations & baby showers




My sister graduated (finally) and we celebrated Sonia's incoming bundle of joy with a blue & yellow themed baby shower. Finally, the highlight of the month was our first trip overseas together; to Bangkok, Thailand. It was an amazing trip, we had so much food and so much fun, despite staying in a haunted hotel.




DECEMBER 2012 - Christmas is here!





One of the best Christmases I've had so far. Hosted a fabulous Christmas party in my home, and Santa came to visit! Had great food feasts with friends and lots of lovely gifts. :) Tis' the season to be jolly indeed.


This pretty much sums up the highlights of my amazing year. I'm looking forward to my 2013, I know it's going to be even better. :) Happy new year everyone!