"engulfed in flames & reborn from the ashes"

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

About a year ago, I had been an absolute mess.
It was a horrible feeling being stuck in a pathetic limbo that is my life, not wanting to do anything but to crawl under the blankets & hibernate. I literally forced myself to wake up everyday - dragged myself to work, pushed myself to meet my friends with a smile on my face - I practically didn't do anything without having to force myself. (Yes, it's horrible and I feel like such a horrible person, especially towards my friends) I'm so glad that my real friends stuck with me through it all though, you guys are amazing! :)

One year later and I've finally started picking myself up again.
I've learnt to give in more effort into my work (and I'm loving what I do), started working on my art again, started being healthy (gym & cutting alcohol out of my life), made new friends and most importantly, stopped pushing people away.

It felt like I was getting to know myself all over again, and in a more positive manner. As of this moment, more than ever, I feel like I am truly loving myself inside and out. I have always scrutinized & criticized myself so badly, I never truly saw the potential I have until now. Of course, there are times when I feel down in the dumps still, but they don't get to me that easily anymore. With all the new attention I'm receiving, there's hardly any time to even dwell in my negativity.

All these amazing positive changes stemmed from the mere thought of the old saying that 'everything happens for a reason'. And I truly believe that now more than ever. I was burned and charred from the bone to my very soul last year but somehow, I was given the strength to be reborn again from the ashes. With that I also learnt to be a better person. To the person who set me on fire, thank you, for you made me realize just how much better off I am without you. For sending me off towards finding the one who would be my better half, if not the best. :)

What doesn't kill you (or nearly did kill you) definitely makes you a stronger person. The changes can only come truly from within yourself and that is something you can absolutely count on.


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